Socrates walks into a room with four other men. In the room sits a table, upon which rests a pint-sized glass, filled exactly halfway with water.
Socrates asks, “half full or half empty?”
“Half full!” says the optimist.
“Half empty,” drones the pessimist.
The realist, with his typical economy, says “yes.”
The Irishman says, “If it were beer in the glass it would’ve been completely empty before the Greek lad finished his question.”